When the universe puts you on your arse.
For about a month, my body’s been trying to tell me something. Loudly.
I’ve developed a skin condition I’ve never had before, dermatitis. It started innocently enough, from what we thought was a spider bite eight months ago. Treated, done. But the skin on my foot? Never really the same.
Fast-forward to now, and things flared again. I was told it might be Tinea, to which I replied, “Sorry, I’m far too fancy for Tinea.” But being the responsible adult I am, I googled it (as one does), followed the GP’s treatment plan... and saw zero improvement. It didn’t feel like Tinea. It was isolated to one foot, hadn’t spread to anyone else in the house, and didn’t behave like something contagious.
Then it started spreading to my elbows, knees, hands, and anywhere my socks rub or heat gathers. I’ve never had skin issues before. And I knew, deep down, something bigger was at play.
Now in true style of the old saying - “Where focus goes, Energy flows.” I was so consumed and perplexed at this new symptomatic thing that was flaring up all over my body. I have never previously suffered from issues with my skin.
When my body presents symptoms, I always go inward as well as outward. Yes, I I still reach for the Panadol and Nurofen and I do go to the doctors if I have too. But I also turn to my inner toolkit and one of the most powerful tools I’ve leaned on for years is Louise Hay’s work.
I like to reference the late and fantastic author Louise Hay. In her book You Can Heal Your Life, an acclaimed medical intuitive and self-healer. explores the emotional root causes of physical symptoms. I know it’s not for everyone, but as a wellbeing coach and someone who believes in holistic healing, it’s my go-to.
So I asked myself (as a firm believer of accountability):
What’s getting under my skin?
“How have I contributed to this?”
The last few months have been hectic. Between launching projects, family commitments, and supporting others, I’ve been in a constant state of go-go-go.
But here's what I’ve realised:
Busy has become my favourite procrastination tool.
Behind the scenes, imposter syndrome had quietly crept in. I’ve been delaying projects.
Avoiding visibility. Saying “soon” when I really meant “I’m scared.”
Scared it won’t land.
Scared it won’t be received well.
Scared I’m not good enough.
Running away from rejection.
The universe, in all her divine cheekiness, decided to intervene:
“If we take her feet, she can’t run anymore.”
And so the rash grew.
The irritation spread.
And I couldn’t hide in my calendar anymore.
Now - the universe believes in me, more than I sometimes believe in myself
Overall, I have honed and hold a beautiful relationship with myself through knowing my self worth and growing my self appreciation and self love. Sometimes though, especially when trying new things the imposter syndrome will bring up a few old wounds.
Thankfully I know the universe is bigger and better than any fear based, unhelpful imposter thoughts. So perhaps the universe (in her clever divine way) saw a way to knock me off my feet and not give the option to keep moving. “AHA - says the universe.
If we take her feet for a little while - she can’t run, she can’t hide, she can’t be busy. She is stuck, and being stuck is the fastest way to build frustration and then that creates a crossroad for opportunity.” pfft - annoying. I am forced to reflect back again on my shadows and where I have a bit more healing to do. This work will be on rejection and how uncomfortable rejection makes me feel.
This latest health hiccup reminded me of a familiar truth:
Old wounds don’t just disappear. They go quiet until they’re triggered by heat, pressure, or fear.
Rejection is one of those wounds for me. And it was bubbling up again.
I wasn’t speaking up. I wasn’t taking up space. I wasn’t defending myself against the little voice saying “Who do you think you are?”
Instead, I was shrinking.
Staying busy.
And breaking out literally.
What Dermatitis Taught Me (That No Cream Could)
Dermatitis is uncomfortable. But it also made me ask questions I needed to ask:
Where am I holding in frustration?
Where am I not using my voice?
What am I afraid of being rejected for?
Why does being seen feel so unsafe sometimes?
And here’s what I came back to:
👉 The fear of rejection doesn’t mean I’m not aligned.
👉 It means I’m doing something that matters.
👉 It means I’m growing.
Recognizing this, I take this time to lean into these shadows, and head back to my affirmations and mediations. To go back within and to get clear direction and wisdom. To feel into when rejection has showed up in my life and that, when I trust the universe and my divine purpose then it is not human rejecting me it is more about - that is simple not the direction I am supposed to take OR they are not the people I am meant to be with and THAT IS OK.
Affirmations for When You’re Spiralling in Self-Doubt
If you’re here, in a similar spiral, a flare-up, or a funk, maybe these affirmations will land in your heart the way they’ve landed in mine:
💛 I am worthy.
💛 I am capable.
💛 I am brave.
💛 I don’t have to take things personally.
💛 I am good enough.
💛 I trust in the divine and my purpose.
Sometimes, healing doesn’t look like green juice and lavender baths. Sometimes it looks like rashes, pauses, cracks in your confidence, and conversations you don’t want to have.
I’m choosing to lean in. To keep listening.
To trust that every symptom, physical or emotional is just my body asking me to come back home.If you’ve been procrastinating, doubting yourself, or waiting for a sign to stop running, maybe this is it.
Here’s your permission to pause, reflect, and choose you.
Because we are all of these things. Wonderful, capable and we can be brave - together.
With love (and a good cortisone cream),
Gayle xxx
As always, thank you for reading.
Want help navigating stress, burnout, or emotional healing?
Explore The Soul Care Healing Method my signature program for high-functioning women ready to slow down, soften, and come home to themselves.
Or read more real, honest reflections in my book Where the Waves Break.
